Wake up and smell the coffee
by notawordsmith
Summary: Don thinks Raph needs to be taught a lesson, but who really ends up being taught?  -COFFEE CHALLENGE- Watch out guys, Raph's on the warpath!  **One shot**  Raph's POV


**A/N: Another one of ****saiyura's challenges. She's got a plot bunny farm in her head I swear. With the lovely help of Simone Robinson, (and if you don't take a look at her poem "Nothing" and rave about it, I'll wonder about your sanity), I wrote this down. **

******Saiyura's challenge was, she wanted to know what Donny's first reaction to coffee was. I'm pretty sure it went a little something like this.**

** Now this is Raph we're talking about here, so don't get a shock from the withdrawls of Mikey's sugar sweet song ok? Strap yourself in for one helluva ride.**

******Coffee Challenge**

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**************Wake up and smell the coffee**

"Wake up and smell the coffee Raph." Donny said with that patronising pout on his foul, treacherous lips. "You know it's for the best."

"We had a deal, you sanctimonious,scheming, self-serving, smug, son-of-a-"

"-ah-ah-ah." admonished Donny; as with one sweeping glance he looked down at my baby, stripped to her mechanical core. My one true love. My wife, my life. My bike. The only thing in the world that was getting between my legs and making me feel good.

My fists clenched and unclenched as I ruminated sadistically about the things I would do to him when I got the chance.

However he had me over a barrel and we both knew it. The mechanicals? I could put my baby together blindfolded. I knew every single nut and bolt of her hot, slick bod. The thrill of her delights coursed through my veins.

My wild fantasties came to a screeching halt when I thought about the electricals. They were Donny's domain. I was screwed.

"I remember that deal very well." the turtle that claimed to be my brother, continued. The deal was you'd let me fix the balance _first_-"; I watched my brother choke back the angry, inner beast that was threatening to devour him,"-_then_ and _only _then could you take it for a spin. You didn't listen, so the deal was off." He punctuated the point with a backward slash of his wrench.

His shoulders sagged as he rose from the floor and looked me dead in the eye. "The balance was off, Raph. You could of gotten yourself killed riding like you did. It's just your blind, stupid, luck that made you hit a dumpster instead of a tree."

"If I had any blind stupid luck", I determined grimly," the love of my life wouldn't have her guts strewn all over the floor."

Spurned, I stormed out of the garage with Donny's last, condescending, words stinging my ears. "Somebody had to tell Splinter Raph. And the ban is only two months, it could of been permanent. I'll have it fixed and you'll be back on the road before you know it."

_Donny do-good_, I sneered to no one in particular. I wondered if he bought his goody two shoes at the same outlet Leo did. Maybe they're matching. To go with their purses.

The first week from my bike was hell. I was coming down off my adrenaline high and the feeling wasn't good. I was nervy, jumpy, like a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs. The lust of the wind raking her long, seductive, fingernails over my skin, and the rumble of my girl kept me awake as each long, lonely, night went unfulfilled.

The love of my bike was replaced by the bittersweet kiss of revenge instead. Donny had to know. Had to know what it was like to lose your one true love, the one you base your day on, that consumes your ever-loving mind, and makes the day to day grind ok.

I'd make him know what he did to me.

I had a plan.

It came to me in the early hours of the morning, in the stealthy hush of dawn.

I was slouched over my bowl of cereal, wearily watching the marshmallows in my cocoa bob along. I was tired, when I heard the familar creak of Donny's door. I sunk further into my chair, arming myself with my daily supply of dirty looks, when I saw it. Plastered all over Donny's dopey face.

That look. That look you get when you wake up in the morning and she's there, waiting for you, ready to carry you through the day and make the mundane bareable. I saw it in the way he caressed the coffee pot, eyes greedily anticipating the liquid within. The way he embraced his cup and kissed the brown silky liquid to his lips. I knew I had him. Right where I wanted him.

My bike was my mistress, coffee was Don's.

He made me lose my lover. I'd make him lose his.

The plan was simple, older than time itself. Plastered on every stupid Internet page by someone who thought they were funny but weren't.

Each day for the next 54 days I switched a tiny bit of his mistress with decaf, slowly lowering his caffeine resistance. I thought of it as a kindness as I noticed he couldn't tell. He was getting off easy, as his withdrawl was a smooth, painless glide, whilst mine was a long, agonising tear.

At the end of my curfew I stared at my baby with pride. Donny polished up her beautiful bod so she shined in the streetlights. My mistress was back. Time to ride the shell out of her.

Donny looked at me sheepishly as he handed me the keys. His face shone with pride.

"It was real nice how you treated me after I told Splinter what you did. You didn't once complain after the little fight we had." He held out his hand and I shook it warmly. It took all that I had to keep the stupid, sarcastic, grin off my face as I, predicted his future.

"Not a problem." I replied. Reaching down to the large takeaway coffee by my foot, I eagerly offered it to him. "Here. I bought you this large coffee from that fancy shop you sometimes go to. Just as a way of saying thanks."

The look on his face was surprise as he unknowingly embraced the triple shot latte that was held within, and gave his lover a long loving kiss.

Laughter burst from my chest as I screamed down the street on my girl. The flush of adrenaline was coursing through my veins as I thought of what the overwhelming caffeine must be doing to his. I imagined both of us gettin' a little crazy that night, locked in the passionate embrace of our respective mistresses, revelling in our first loves.

I dunno what Donny did that night as I revelled the night away on my bike, but I know one thing, Donny got a THREE month curfew, and now he can only drink green tea.

"Wake up and smell the coffee." I told Donny as he slumped dejectedly at the kitchen table, staring at the insipid green water in the mug in front of him.

"Payback's a bitch."

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**A/N: Ooooooo my darker side. :oP So should I give up my life of darker fanfics and stick with the light, or do you enjoy the darker side of life? Would love your thoughts on this. I must admit I'm tempted, mainly 'cause I'm told there's cookies ... **


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